Magic IS REAL

1.  Go to somewhere small where there are no big cities.  Get a place to live and start convincing the people there that you can do magic.  Eventually you can become their king and start a cult!

2.  Make your own currency and trade it for US money.

3.  Put foot straps on the roof of your car and have friends ride it like a snowboard.

4.  Keep writing, you might be on a roll!

5.  Eat a worm.  Then try to tell the story about it to someone.  Try to not stop talking for fifteen minutes.