Dogs

1.  When you can't figure out exactly what you should be doing create a non-crucial task you can always do, like cleaning the dishes.  Eventually you may never loose momentum because you automatically have something to do.

2.  If you ever find yourself doing something for the wrong reason, pretend you are doing it for no reason at all.

3.  Try eliminating certain groups of food from your diet and journal about how you feel, what your poop looks like, and how convenient the diet is for you.  Then stop eating the things you felt okay not eating.

4.  Start smoking.

5.  When you tell someone you are looking for a job and they say something like "Do you have coffee/serving/cooking experience?" just say yes.  If you really do not have the aptitude for the job they described you just quit.